Despite the many negative effects of the pandemic, there are many positive takeaways that one can learn from the “pause effect” that the whole world has been witnessing and experiencing at the moment. These strategies can help us to move forward. One could argue that the whole world is on pause right now, a pause that we have never experienced before. However, there are many things that one can learn from this state of events. 

In psychology there is a technique we call “clearing the deck.” This technique involves imagining what your life would be like if you did not have a whole schedule. What would it be like if you did not have a million things to do? What would you actually choose to put back into your life? This pandemic in many ways has given us a chance to redefine our “new normal”.  What do we want to keep and what positives have come out of this that we want to continue to apply? Similar to New Year's resolutions, this pandemic has left many of us reflecting on our past, present, and planning for our futures. I would like to encourage you to think about what practices you like that you are currently doing, and what systems you have in place that have been working for you. Think about relationships that you would like to improve moving forward and which ones you might want to change. 

This pandemic caused many of us to reflect on how we create our life moving forward. This is a unique opportunity that I hope many can take advantage of. Often you hear people advise you to “clear out your closet.” We can utilize the same framework in our life currently. Using the term “clearing out the closet,” we can ask ourselves what we would like to take out, as well as what we want to invite in or add. This pandemic has made us all really think about what is important to us. Some of us may have developed better ways to manage their ADHD. Working from home during this pandemic has enabled many individuals with ADHD to move around and take breaks whenever needed. It has also offered the opportunity to start work earlier or later in some cases. On the opposite side, others are struggling due to the loss of structure. If this is the case for you, please think about what it has been like for you to lose that structure. What structure have you found helpful in the past? What is working for you or is not working for you at the moment? These questions can help us draft and build an action plan for moving forward.

During this “clearing the closet” exercise, we usually take a look at what is important to us. This includes what we want removed and/or put back into our lives. Do we really enjoy that fitness class or spending time with a certain person? Do we want to try different activities every single night? Who has reached out to you in times of stress and who do you really enjoy talking to? Who you are less excited to speak to? What activities do you look at today that you are really not as excited about or do not want to participate in anymore. This is the time to make a choice. 

During this opportunity to “clear the closet,” allow yourself to think about what you want your future to look like. One strategy to help us visualize this is called the wheel of life. In the wheel of life, we write down different categories to separate the things in our lives that we feel are  important. Whether it’s family, faith, health, managing ADHD, or significant others; use colors to highlight how happy you are in each area. For example, if you are happy with your exercise routine you would color in the whole piece of that pie. If you have finances that you are not satisfied with you might only color in a small part of that piece specifically. 

The purpose of this exercise is to give you a visual guide of how you view your life. Many people with ADHD perform better with visual cues. It can give you a snapshot of how you see your life right now, and provide you with an opportunity to see which areas you want to improve or focus on. Some example categories are as follows: Family, Faith, Fiances, Health, Social Relationships, Significant Others, managing ADHD, Exercise Routines, etc.

As many states are beginning to reopen after weeks and months of stay-at-home advisories  due to the coronavirus, many events that were scheduled to take place during the summer and upcoming fall were and remain canceled as of today. Among these events is the LGBTQ Pride Month parade that was planned for June of this year. 
Pride Month, which usually sees several planned parades, marches, and festivals all around the globe provides a safe space for thousands of individuals within the LGBTQ community and their allies to embrace and celebrate different identities. The Coronavirus has shifted many of our lives in the past few months, more than we could ever anticipate. While we cannot celebrate Pride Month in the way we usually would, we want all LGBTQ+ individuals to know that we are with you not only this month but every month throughout the year. As many groups around the country are now targeted more than ever before, it is more important than ever to stand proudly together and to support and uplift each other. 

While Pride Month usually consists of planned in-person gatherings and events, this year we will see a shift with organized virtual Pride events offering a new way to celebrate the LGBTQ+ community. Thanks to many brilliant and visionary minds the LGBTQ+ community will be able to connect to celebrate their resilience, diversity, and history. 

Boston Pride has organized a series of virtual events for the month of June to commemorate 50 years of Pride in Boston, support the LGBTQ community, and to celebrate LGBTQ culture. Events range from panel discussions, to cooking classes, to dance lessons. Key events for Boston Pride include: 

• June 5, Raising of the rainbow Pride flag on City Hall Plaza, 12pm
• June 5, Author Talk with the Boston Public Library: Eric Cervini of “The Deviant’s War: The Homosexual vs. the United States of America”
• June 7, Forum:  The Rich History of LGBTQ Bars in Boston
• June 8, Panel:  LGBTQ Veterans Tell Their Stories
• June 9, Pride Lights – commemorates those affected by the HIV/AIDS pandemic
• June 13, Pride Festival and Concert 
• June 25TH - 28TH- Virtual CINCY BLACK PRIDE 

​Cincinnati's Black Pride celebration has announced a diverse slate of online events, including the third year of the Black Alphabet Film Festival. This features work by and documenting the diversity of the Black LGBTQ+ experience, taking place on June 25. The Vizazi Torch Awards, which honor Cincinnati residents working to improve the lives of queer and trans Black people in the city, will be held digitally on June 26. There will also be virtual parties all weekend long, with DJs spinning everything from underground house to '60s classics and African dance music. For more information, please contact Tim West at (513) 818-9596 or via email at [email protected]

Happy Pride!  

By Suma Hiremath
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You’ve loved your little angel since you first laid eyes on them. Everything about them evokes a warm, loving feeling. Their smile, their smell, their laughs, and all their other big “firsts.” There’s nothing quite like a brand new baby. You’ve waited for this, perhaps planned for this, and cleaned meticulously (nesting phase, am I right?). Even formerly squeamish new parents report that their new little darlings’ bodily functions hardly phase them. It’s all love and smooth sailing...until it’s not. 

Parenthood comes with a lengthy laundry list of responsibilities. The focus is no longer on you. Previously, you were responsible for your own life. You cared for yourself and maybe a partner. You cooked for yourself...or didn’t, if you didn’t feel like it. Take out was always a go to option. You went on dates and engaged in fun activities at your leisure. The time and possibilities seemed endless. 
As a parent, your existence in the universe seems to shift. This is an adjustment for many new parents and can even prove grueling for more seasoned parents, as your child grows, reaches new developmental stages, and new challenges arise. Society socializes parents to “grin and bear it.” Particularly with new mothers, the expectation is that they love endlessly, are forever patient, and self-sacrificing. Unfortunately, this narrative can prove quite harmful at times, particularly when considering parental self-care. 

The idea of struggling with parenthood is particularly relevant in the current global climate. With the emergence of COVID-19, many parents, who formerly sought reprieve through daycare, family help, school, or extra curricular activities, are now sequestered at home with their children. Additionally there are none of the usual outlets for parental self-care that may have been available pre-pandemic. 

So what’s to be done when you’re stuck at home; the apple of your eye is driving you up a wall; and, there seems to be no end in sight? Being open and honest about your feelings regarding parenthood is simple and a much needed way to subtly implement self-care. Talking to your family, friends, and other parents can help normalize the notion that not all sentiments about parenthood are positive. You should also allow yourself space to feel however you feel, even if it is frustrated, tired, or burnt out, in the moment. 

Largely, a societal shift in thinking about parenting and parenting responsibilities, as well as an ongoing focus on bolstering parental support is much needed. Although many states have issued stay at home orders during the COVID-19 outbreak, regular therapy sessions (most are offered via telehealth) can be a great way to process and discuss feelings in a safe, unbiased space. There are also an abundance of parental support groups readily available, most even offered virtually. When and if possible, share parental responsibilities, either with a partner, friends, or family members. Getting outside for at least 30 min a day and consciously choosing healthy foods and lifestyle choices can also help. In order to stay afloat and foster the best possible growth children, it is crucial to “fill your cup first.” 

By: Oumaima Mansouri
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According to Faces of Abnormal Psychology Interactive website, 2% of adults in the United States have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and about 4% will experience the disorder at some point in their lives. Obsessive compulsive disorder can begin at any time from preschool to adulthood. Symptoms of the disorder begin gradually, often during adolescence or early adulthood. In children, the compulsive actions often appear first and the obsessive thoughts develop later. Children may express obsessive compulsive symptoms, however, they typically have poor insight and seldom perceive that their compulsive behaviors are excessive. In adults, about one third diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder report having symptoms during their childhood. Unfortunately, in most cases it went unrecognized.

Diagnosing an individual with obsessive compulsive disorder can be difficult. Research shows that it takes the average person seventeen years from the onset of obsessive compulsive disorder to begin receiving appropriate treatment. This delay can be accounted for by individuals attempting to hide their symptoms, as well as many healthcare providers being unfamiliar with the clinical disorder. Obsessive compulsive symptoms cause distress, take up a lot of time, and may  significantly impact the person’s work, social life, and/or relationships. Many adults with OCD have a good insight into their problem and are able to recognize that their obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions are irrational. However, there are certain individuals that lack insight into their disorder. 

In children obsessions and compulsions symptoms can often appear related. For example, a child with an obsessive fear of intruders may check the door locks repeatedly. A child with an obsessive fear of disease may wash their hands excessively. She/he/they may fear that harm will come to their family unless they engage in a particular habit or pattern such as, avoiding using certain numbers or retracing their steps. Parents may not be aware of the full extent of a child’s symptoms because many of them occur in the child's mind and others are hidden. A parent may notice that their child avoids certain things, seems distracted, inattentive, or irritable, repeatedly seeks reassurance, or has difficulties tolerating uncertainty. A trained cognitive behavioral therapist can help the child and the family assess if these symptoms are caused by OCD.

During the assessment process, it is important to obtain the family history of any mental illness, particularly OCD from the client. If they had obsessive thoughts as a child, their current compulsive behaviors and obsessive thoughts and symptoms, and how the disorder affects their daily functioning. Assessment can help therapists plan interventions, identify risk factors, and most importantly highlight a client’s strengths. Instead of looking at the assessment as a way of gathering information to find or identify issues, one can focus on gathering information to identify resources that can be put in place for the client in order to reinforce solutions.  

There are many effective treatment options for individuals that suffer from OCD. Some of the more popular treatments include Psychoeducation, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and medications (antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications). CBT can help the person recognize their obsessive actions and help them challenge and cope with their obsessive thoughts. Stress can cause obsessive compulsive disorder to become more exaggerated or exacerbate symptoms. Practicing mindfulness techniques in addition to the above treatments has also shown to be effective in reducing anxiety and stress levels. Mindfulness can also help an individual with OCD become more aware of their triggers.  

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a chronic condition. Symptoms can be managed, but they may reappear in the same or a different form several years later. Therapy can aid individuals recognize,  respond to new or existing OCD symptoms, and cope with their obsessive thoughts particularly during stressful times. 

References:
Faces of Abnormal Psychology. (n.d.). Retrieved from 
http://www.mhhe.com/socscience/psychology/faces/lowSpeed.html

By: Suma Hiremath, Clinician

It’s a commonly heard phrase when conversing with a friend, at work, or even in a therapy session…“not that this is anything like what you are going through” or “I know others have it worse, but...” We are living in an extraordinary time, where societal limits are being tested daily and everything feels surreal. Mental health difficulties, social isolation, and increasingly apparent income and socioeconomic disparity have surged. 

Positivity isn’t all bad…recognizing and understanding privilege and being able to put struggles into perspective can help foster positive thinking and promote gratitude. This can help to promote a more positive worldview and encourage the development of positive patterns of thinking. The brain is a muscle and can be, “worked out” much like any other muscle in the body. It is because of this that negative patterns of thought and maladaptive behaviors can be pervasive and take a considerable amount of time to unlearn. However, when it comes to processing our own struggles, emotional qualifiers can often do more harm than good. 

Think about the last time you had a conversation with someone, you disclosed that you were struggling with something, and were gas lighted or dismissed. Maybe the individual said something along the lines of, “back in my day, our struggles were tenfold.” Or, “people elsewhere have it much worse.” How did this make you feel? Likely invalidated or embarrassed? There also seems to be a social trend of romanticizing struggling and shaming people for empathy, sensitivity, and expression of emotion. For example, there were recent debates regarding student loan forgiveness and how alleviating the debt of millions of students would somehow be unfair to those who had already paid their loans off. 

​Although not all adversity is equal, it is important to not constantly compare your negative experiences to others’ negative experiences. It is important to allow yourself emotional space, particularly with negative emotions. This is a crucial step in being able to effectively process adversity in a healthy and productive way. In other words, although it is ok to feel grateful that you are still employed and able to provide for your family, it is also ok to feel lonely, isolated, or trapped in your home. Although it is ok to recognize your privilege in having a healthy family and children, it is also ok to feel overextended and in dire need of a break. No single struggle invalidates another, particularly in these unprecedented times. Make your emotional and mental health a priority and begin by allowing yourself grace and validation for your struggles, whatever they may be.

Rhain Toussaint, SSCFC Student Intern
“While I am happy to see my child smiling, is there a point to them playing around in therapy”. This thought has probably came up once or twice when taking your child to a counseling session. To you it might be playing around but for children, playing is more than building a fort, smashing G.I Joes together or jumping rope. Playing has numerous amount of health benefits from reducing stress, fear, anxiety, and irritability to increasing levels of compassion and improving non-verbal skills. Playing provides an opportunity to allow children to develop their sense of self. Playing also is a method to gain and build coping skills, strengthen one’s abstract thinking and problem solving. Playing has the opportunity to strengthen child development and improve social relationships. According to the article, Play in Children’s Development, Health and Well-Being, Active play that involves running, jumping, climbing keeps children physically healthy while discovering  their environment. This helps prevent obesity, depression, stress and other negative effects. 

Through the act of play, children weave a story and sometimes it is about themselves. This activity enables a child to express their feelings, show what happens during their daily lives and visualize their dreams or fears. A mental health professional can learn a lot about what is occurring in a child’s life just by watching them play. One can learn what areas a child struggles or excels with or how they are doing emotionally, physically and mentally. Most think playing is just a waste of time but play allows a child to expand and share their world with others. 

Just like vegetables can help with your child’s physical development, different types of toys and games promote and establish different skills. At an early age,  blocks, Legos, puzzles, and other toys grow spatial, language, decision making, creativity, attention span, memory, and motor skills. Playing can also stimulate brain growth, increase emotional intelligence and so much more. Toys that encourage children to share or cooperate with others is called social play, so your child wanting you to participate in activities such as tea parties teaches them how to interact with others. Altogether, toys help boosts amusement and expand play, so make sure you have variety for your child to choose from so they can have an array of techniques. 

Play can be beneficial for a better quality of life. If children are not given the opportunity to play, it affects their daily and future lives. According to the article, Play in Children’s Development, Health and Well-Being, those who are not playing daily are at risk to suffer from poor physical health and mental health issues later on in life. Those who do not play at all suffer from not developing at the same rate as other children either emotionally, mentally, and/or physically.  Make sure that you are are aware that play overall and in therapy is a helpful tool in your child’s development. And, remember you can always join in on their play sessions when necessary. 
​
Reference:
Goldstein, J. (2012). Play in Children’s Development, Health and Well-Being,. Retrieved from https://www.ornes.nl/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Play-in-children-s-development-health-and-well-being-feb-2012.pdf.

By: Laura Bishop, Clinician

I recently confessed on social media that I watch my fair share of Hallmark movies. The station has gotten very savvy with their movie promos and basically you can follow them through all four seasons.  Granted, the plot lines and actors are often recycled. These movies are more wholesome in nature and you don’t really have to think that much, which is why I like them. After all, working as a Mental Health Therapist can be stressful. I hold sacred the real life struggles people share with me daily and can run the risk of experiencing second-hand trauma of hearing these stories. I also don’t like to watch movies that contain gore or zombies, or other graphic images that are going to keep me up all night. So yes,  Hallmark movies seem to be a good alternative. 

However, there was part of my social media confession that got me in a little heart. I posited that long term exposure to these movies could actually be harmful to one’s mental health. Over the years, I have worked with many survivors of trauma. They face abundant triggers as they navigate through each day and learn to cope with what has been as they hope for what will be. Many have struggled for years with debilitating depression, anxiety, and symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In addition, I have seen those who have broken relationships and lost jobs or mourn the loss of loved ones and can’t seem to come out from under their blanket of grief. For them, their lives cannot be magically transformed in 2 hours time. They may  not lose a job and find another in the same day, or be whisked off to a palace in a magical (albeit unheard of country) and marry a prince or princess in time for Christmas, or get a ring by Spring (when it is already January and they have not met their person yet), or… you get it, right?

​The most heat I received was from my own sister. She posted back to me in big letters that these movies are an ESCAPE after all. Yes, she effectively yelled it to me in type speak. While I agree with her on a surface level, I do carry reservations of using this logic over time. I believe that prolonged exposure could decrease one’s self-esteem by leading to questions like “Why isn’t my life like that?”, “Where is my prince/princess?”, “Where is my dream job?” or even “Why can’t I look this beautiful/handsome when just getting out of bed?” For many, the real world is full of more complex questions like “Why can’t I get out of bed at all?” 
So, if you plan on binge watching your way through the year with these Hallmark movies for simple entertainment and escape, go for it. Just be mindful of these fictional fairy tales and be good to your own and other’s mental health in the process.

By: Lujuana Milton, Owner and Clinician

Winter is coming…winter is coming…

More like winter is here and with the advent of the winter season come all sorts of wonderful things. The beauty of newly fallen snow, sipping hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day; or even witnessing the smiles of children as they play in the snow on a long awaited snow day.  For others, the winter season brings on a host of not so “Norman Rockwell painting” feelings that are much more than the disdain for travelling in a nasty, slushy, wintery mix. I’m talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder, most commonly referred to as SAD. It is highlighted by the increase in depressive symptoms usually starting in the fall and continuing throughout the winter.  According to the National Institute of Mental Health, SAD is not a separate disorder from depression, but is a type of depression that has a recurring seasonal pattern. 

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), identified characteristics that put you at more risk for SAD including being female, living far from equator, family history of depression, having been diagnosed with depression or bipolar disorder, and being of a younger age. More recently, I’ve become more aware of my own emotional difficulties during the fall and winter months and realized I have checked off many of the above risk factors.  Given this information, I decided to do some research about ways to manage or improve one’s mood throughout the fall and winter season. While I am not completely adverse to medication as intervention because I recognize and have witnessed the transformation of others through the use of medication, I have committed myself to also finding alternative non medication ways to manage and improve mood. 

Most identified treatments for SAD include psychiatric medication, light therapy (a light box that mimics natural light), and psychotherapy.  Additionally, I have found that meditation, guided imagery, and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or an activity like yoga have been found to be successful in managing mood. Being the therapist that I am, I try not to provide an alternative recommendation that has been found to be successful if I have not tried myself. This has led me to interesting places with more than enough funny stories, however, I believe it has made me a better therapist to say: “This is proven to work most times with most people and it has worked for me.” I can unequivocally say that meditation, guided imagery and relaxation techniques do work.

Along with the above recommendations, exercise or any sort of physical movement can help to regulate neurotransmitters impacting and regulating mood.  I know what you’re thinking, when its -1000 degrees outside, how the heck am I supposed to get up at the crack of dawn to go to the gym and exercise. Even more so, when you are feeling down and depressed.   I never understood those people that go to the gym because they absolutely love going. In fact, I have never had the pleasure of meeting these people because for most people its work to get up and do something when you really don’t want to do it.  But, I have a trick. You don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home to exercise or move. There are countless paid or free resources to use to get moving and regulate your emotions. All it takes is a Google or YouTube search and you are connected to a world of movement.

So if you are struggling with symptoms of SAD and need some help improving your mood, take heed to all resources at your fingertips.  Even if one proves unhelpful to you, there may be others out there that can help, you have to keep trying. 
​
Reference:
Seasonal Affective Disorder. National Institute of Mental Health, Mar. 2016, www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/seasonal-affective-disorder/index.shtml.

By: Lujuana Milton, Owner and Clinician

So you’ve decided to come therapy.  Maybe it’s for the first time, you’ve taken a hiatus, or you need to find a new therapist.  You’ve had your first or a few sessions and for whatever reason you are not feeling it. You are just not vibing with your therapist.  Maybe it’s his tone of voice, what she wore, or his approach was not what you were looking for. Well all those feelings or observations are pretty natural.  We are humans that have feelings about who and what we encounter daily and based on those feelings we are either going to go all in or not. The bad news is that when it comes to therapy, not going all in pretty much defeats the purpose.  Rapport and relationship are such an important aspect of therapy. There is even research that suggest that success in therapy is related to the relationship one has with their therapist. 
So we’ve established that the relationship with your therapist is important to your success and achievement of your goals in therapy, but what happens when you feel like the relationship with your current therapist is not helping you.  If this is the case, then I would suggest you speaking to your therapist. Be honest and don’t ghost us; I promise it won’t hurt our feelings. We recognize that our personalities or approaches may not be for everyone. We also trained to tailor our approaches to each individual and when we receive feedback from others we are better able to tailor our approaches to meet yours other people’s needs.  
Now what happens when that conversation doesn’t work? Or maybe you just really don’t want to work with that particular therapist.  That’s okay too! Again, it won’t offend us so don’t up and leave with no phone call. We want you to achieve your goals, even it isn’t with us specifically.  Tell us what you are looking for with regards to a therapist, your goals, and why it isn’t working. We can help you find another therapist that would be a good fit for you.  You see, as therapists we know other therapists. We know all kinds of therapists with different backgrounds and expertises and we can help you find the right therapist for you.  It can be daunting just scrolling through a sea of professional profiles to find a therapist that you think might be a good fit. And I don’t know about you, but when I was looking for my own therapists I read through profiles pretty quickly and make my judgement based on whether the therapist has a warm presence or a nice smile in their photo.  While I have happened upon some really great therapists this way, it is not the most reliable of methods. I would have much rather gotten a personal recommendation from another therapist who knows and/or has worked with that therapist. 
I can’t stress enough that as therapists we won’t be offended and most definitely shouldn’t get upset that it is not working for you.  Our goals is to assist you in anyway we can so if you are feeling that you are not really vibing with your therapist work with them to find the best solution for you.  All it takes is a conversation about it.